In Observance of Singles Awareness Day aka SAD

Red vase with red and yellow roses

If you’re like me, and Valentine’s Day is the Worst Holiday EVER exclamation point, because you are ALWAYS single on Valentine’s Day, and ALL single people should ban together and CANCEL whoever is responsible for this NONSENSE

Side note: After a brief internet search into history of Valentine’s Day, it turns out that V-Day had a really dark beginning including but not limited to defying oppressors, imprisonment and executions…*

I’ll amend the above statement to say all single people should ban together to CANCEL whoever is responsible for the evolution of Valentine’s Day into a celebration of exclusively committed relationships.

How do you, fellow single person, (because I’m NOT talking to you happily exclusively together people, we can resume our conversation tomorrow) spend your Singles Awareness Day aka SAD?

Do you:

A) Throw yourself into work/hobbies/necessary chores like doing taxes
B) Binge watch your favorite TV series
C) Try to hook up with an old flame
D) Go to a bar with all the other SAD celebrators observers
E) Sign up for ALL the dating apps
F) C – that didn’t work, then try D – and after imbibing more than absolutely necessary, regretfully E

What do I do? Hhm. I’ve never been a fan of option D – too socially awkward. Also, per my psychiatrist it is not recommended that I drink alcohol. Yeah, he’s a real buzz kill that one. Thanks a lot Dr. H. Option A has always been out because I’m too depressed about being single to be ultra productive. Option C – nah cuz I never go back; it’s called the I’ve Moved On Policy that I adhere to religiously. I’d have to go with option B and/or unfortunately E.

One thing folks in a happily committed relationship say to their single friends is “Just because they’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean that they’re happy.” To that I respond, well that might be true. But there’s freakin enough happily committed couples around to still rub it in my face dammit. Another unhelpful thing people say to single people is “Being alone is better than being in a toxic relationship.” And if you’ve just gotten out of a toxic relationship, sure. You’re on a high still because let’s admit it, freedom is like a drug. That actually works. As opposed to the drugs I’ve tried for my treatment resistant depression NONE of which have worked, but I digress. If you’re not on that freedom drug, it still feels shitty.

One thing I can tell you that does work for me. Caveat, it doesn’t work every time. But this thought WILL work better than those drugs that are SUPPOSED to work for my depression. Sorry, can’t get off of this ineffective drug obsession.

I think to myself, if I was in a committed relationship, and I had a single friend, what would I be jealous about her single life? Magically, I think of all the things I can do as a single person that a committed person can’t. For example. I can flirt with whomever I please. I can go wherever I want to go, do whatever I want to do, spend whatever I the heck want to spend all without checking in, asking permission, or calling a committee meeting first. I don’t have to clean up after someone else’s mess. I can clean up my own mess dammit. Or not clean it up at all. I can pack my bags and travel whenever and wherever the heck I want to go.

Two experiences taught me this lesson. The first experience happened when I was hanging out with a recently married friend of whom I was super jelly because she found not only The One, but he is a keeper too. Six months after they were formally hitched and had an AMAZING honeymoon in IRELAND, friend says to me, “I feel like a maid.” And there it was. Happily wedded bliss, pouf gone. She had married a mamma’s boy who though I maintain is definitely a keeper, not stellar in the housekeeping bidness.

The second experience happened when I attended a ladies’ social function. I was the ONLY single person there. One mom said about co-parenting with her husband, “Whenever he watches the kids, I still have to do everything.” I asked myself, “Still jelly are you, B?” Nah, man, I’m good with my single life, and I toasted myself.

So, to all my fellow singles out there struggling to get through Singles Awareness Day, hang in there, kids. Get you some chocolate, cozy clothes, an alcoholic beverage if your psychiatrist isn’t a buzz kill like mine and toast yourself because you are awesome and you deserve every happiness that comes your way today.
Cheers

Yours Truly,

B

*Someone should research the evolution of how Valentine’s Day came to be a celebration of committed relationships, curious minds want to know so we can pin the blame on a specific person or group of people. Thanks in advance.